17

He's definitely not a guy I would chase if it was me two years ago.

He didn't hug me much, he didn't kiss me much. Sex? errrr I leave that for me alone to know but yeah, intimate moment isn't something abundant when I'm with him.

I can say that he is a guy who doesn't really need physical attention as much I do. From what I gathered, the amount of guys he met for fun after his previous breakup can be counted using just one hand while me need both hands AND feet to accommodate last year hookup. Such big difference, no?

Maybe that's why he can go by without seeing me for extended period while me get all cranky after mere one week. I admit the slut in me is still there but the only difference is that I'm suppressing it deep inside.

Maybe that's why whenever he goes physical with me no matter how small it be, I get really, really excited. The two most memorable memories so far were when he held my hand while walking back towards the car after the birthday dinner and the kiss he gave me last week in the car before dropping me at my bike. Those two encounters were really brief but it left me feeling high and ecstasy.

My only hope is that he won't find my constant peck on his cheek or pat on his head annoying.

16

I miss you, piggy.

Seeing u for few minutes last Monday didn't cure this 'craving' at all but rather it became even worse =.=

It was roughly two weeks since we last met but it felt like months. Maybe because knowing we were so close but unable to meet due to our schedule just exacerbate it.

I miss hugging u and feeling ur warmth around me. This cold, chilly night drawn me towards loneliness and emptiness.

Piggy, I want u now but I know I'm been unreasonable

So till then, remember me always

15

Do u know how much I miss u? Do u know what it feel like to be ignored by the one that u love? 

The pain stabbed through, leaving me feel numb inside. I wish I could just cry myself to sleep whenever this happened. My tear may have dried but the feeling hasn't. 

I tried to go out, have fun, talk to new people but it doesn't work. I may forget about u at that particular time but when the night comes and I'm back inside my room all alone, things back to the way it always be. Memory of u and what we used to be. 

Somehow, I miss u and ur kiddy voice terribly now monkey. 

14

my heart sank a bit...didnt know after all these while, I still cant let u go completely

shouldn't see the pic...sigh~

13

2 weeks has passed.

Telling myself it will be alright, that everything will eventually go away.

It helps me, to certain extent.

When the night came and the darkness engulfed me, sometimes I will break down and the memories flood back like it was all yesterday.

No no, I am not clinging to it. Trying to let it go but who can kill one's memory

After all, he is happy now, no longer the lonely boy he used to be.

His happiness, isn't that my wish when the candle was blown 3 months ago?

Wishing him best of luck for TOEFL test.

12

Slowly, I'm letting it go; not because I want to but because I have to. The longer I'm holding on to it, the pain will become more unbearable.

Putting on my fake smile mask to fool everyone because if i take it down.......

even though I wish we're back to normal, the reality ain't that way. for the better of me maybe or else I will never get over him.

11

I miss u.

I miss him.

I miss..............J

Don't know why I keep writing it down here. Not like it helps me to get over him but maybe just as a memory.

To remind me someday that I had once loved someone so much.

To make me remember that I too am capable of loving someone with all my heart.

There's nothing wrong with loving someone so much even though it is just one-sided. Not everything is fair in this world.

U could treat someone so well and he will still forget u but at the same time, u still just can't take your mind off him.

Sigh~

Time to talk to turtle again, tonight